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sanita13 53F  
45 posts
4/26/2016 11:31 pm
Please Don't Call Me Beautiful


“You look beautiful!”
“Thank you, I dressed up/put on makeup/did my hair”

“Beautiful picture!”
“Thank you, it was a wonderful moment/story/experience”
.
“You’re beautiful”
Based on?
.
Please don’t call me beautiful
If you have not really seen me.
Or if you have not seen me red-faced and splotchy from exertion, but still smiling
Or if you have not seen me unplucked, unpolished
Dressed in a holey comfy shirt
Maybe with pants, maybe not
With eyebrows so light they are unseen.

Do not call me beautiful
If you have not heard my breath catch
With fear
With shock
With pain
With joy
With desire

Do not call me beautiful
If you have not witnessed me rendered speechless
Or if you don’t know why that is something remarkable
Or if you have not read my writing and wondered more
Or if you have not seen me clap my hands over my mouth to stop an outburst
While my eyes give me away

Do not call me beautiful
If you have not seen me smile at someone just because we made eye contact
Or if you have not sensed how I light up if I have made you laugh
Or if you have not spent time wallowing in my thought process
Enjoying how my mind works
Even if we disagree
Or if you have not seen me handle a difficult person or situation.
Whether it is successful handling or not.
Or if you have not said “Here comes sanita, its on!” and grabbed a figurative bowl of popcorn

Do not call me beautiful
If you have not sincerely thought of me as kind
Or if you have not watched me hold my ground
Or if you have not witnessed how I handle setbacks
Or if you think I do not feel pain, even if I stay on my feet
Or if you don’t know how much I cherish my mom.
Or if you don’t know why
.
When you have truly seen me
When you have felt me
When you know who I am
When you have understood me
When you have accepted me and my flaws
When you know there is more to know about me
If you call me beautiful
I will appreciate it
It will be deep
I will believe it.
I will feel it.
“Thank you”


--sanita 4/27/16


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