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alt5250 61M
1283 posts
6/19/2017 9:15 pm

Different for everyone but pain & hurt can still be unresolved after long periods. Sometimes to survive tough issues we just close doors & seal it up & avoid ever going back.


Raven_GB 63M
854 posts
6/19/2017 11:36 pm

What can't be changed must be endured. It will take you as long as it takes you and if somebody doesn't understand that, it is probably because they have been luck enough never to lose somebody very close. I have a similar experience with similar duration and I miss her every single day. It does not preclude my being with somebody, but you can't unweave years with that person in your life, and why should you want to? She is and always will be the mother of my children and my greatest love. He will always be your father.

They are fortunate in their ignorance. You don't move on, you evolve.


ergeniusRm 48M
59 posts
6/20/2017 12:26 am

There's no way. You have to try the power to cohabit with your fears and pains. Try to find out the pleasure in the reminders. The beauty.
Take that warm for the cold moments.

Take care, and ... try to sleep well.


rosaenaluin 65F
10827 posts
6/20/2017 2:36 am

I come also from a rather shaky background, much violence, neglect en the likes, there also were moment of wholeness, care, but that was not a normal day to day happening.

When i could finally escape that surroundings, after some years i went to a psychologiste,
I knew i needed help to get over some of the things that did happen, way back
so i took counseling, for some years, on and off.
it made it easier for me to cope with all that shit, i feel a more stable, happy person because the counseling gave me some psychology insight in the behaviour of the parents...

I say: GO, take some counseling, from a good family psychologist(e?)
And, also, and that is the harderst part, take responsibilty for being in that family.... think about it....

It is just not healthy to keep all that shit on your back, carrying it around with you.
You are not in the now! at whole... i think...

Be good to yourself, you can make it better.
I wish you strength! what ever you decide to do.
take care
rosa


DancingDom 74M
22475 posts
6/20/2017 5:26 am

Bit sure if your grieving the loss of parents or the odd family situation with siblings you are troubled by.Elizabeth Kubler Ross has book on the subject. Counseling my help life the burdensome feelings. Just talking with some friendly folks who will let you cry if needed. We all grieve differently, no right or wrong way.

Perhaps your friend is concerned and wants to know what triggers your feelings. It is good to know what may be problematical for a partner in a relationship. Perhaps, it is a defense mechanism for you to keep others you might get so attached to when you do get close. But that is for you and a trained counselor to discuss.. You don't want to have the pain of loss, so you may be recalling it

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"



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