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enomis10 65 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A MANGA   2/3/2007

Uma velhinha passa em frente à um posto de saúde e vê uma enorme fila para distribuição de camisinhas.
Curiosa ela pergunta ao rapaz que está em último na fila:
- Mocinho, com licença! Para quê que é essa fila enorme?
O cara, meio tímido, não quis dizer a verdade para a vovozinha, e mandou: - Tão distribuindo manga, vovó !
E a velhinha toda feliz: - Oba! adoro ...


0 Comentários, 88 Visualizações, 0 Votos
enomis10 65 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A FISIOTERAPEUTA   23/2/2007

Duas mulheres estavam jogando golfe numa manhã de sábado. Uma delas errou a tacada e atingiu um jogador que estava próximo. Este, imediatamente, juntou suas mãos entre as pernas e ajoelhou-se gemendo de dor. A mulher então correu ate ao local : - Me desculpe... Por favor, deixe-me ajuda-lo. Sou fisioterapeuta e sei como aliviar a dor que esta sentindo! Posso fazê-lo sentir-se melhor se ...


0 Comentários, 32 Visualizações, 0 Votos
tazdawg46 54 H
41 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
toliet paper ...............   18/3/2024

this rabbit is sitting under a tree taking his morning dump and along walks a big bear and leans against the tree and the little rabbit is so scared that he is clinched up too tight to squeeze one out the bear notices him and says morning rabbit to which the rabbit replies m m morning mr bear while trying his best to finish and run away the bear grunts a couple times and says hey rabbit you ...


0 Comentários, 0 Visualizações, 0 Votos
AmandaObey 57 M
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
The Heaven year itch   18/2/2024

When you die and go up rather than down, you are asked a question and must answer it correctly to pass through the gates. There is a blonde ahead of me ready to be asked her question and she is all fidgety and nervous ... I heard St Peter mutter to himself, 'Lord Father, she seems like a nice girl so I will ask her an easy question'... So he asks her , 'What is the name of Gods only ...


0 Comentários, 4 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,0.34 Pontuação
AmandaObey 57 M
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
SLUt....(SaltLake, Ut)   18/2/2024

Back about 10 years ago I was living quite well on the Jersey shore. Had a great job, beautiful Benz, spent weekends back up in my hometown next to NYC, spent lots of time at the beach or on the water, had good times in AC or up in Philly.... It was great ! When I talk about it to people now they often will ask, 'So what on earth brought you to Salt Lake City ?' And I tell them ...


0 Comentários, 4 Visualizações, 1 Votos
slaveyearning 43 M
35 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
why dont you diet ?   30/11/2023

fat guy in locker room shower and guy walks in and asks. "how long since you seen your dick " fat guy says ... long time guy says "why dont you diet ? fat guy says " why what color is it now ? <br><br> <br><br> please comment


0 Comentários, 26 Visualizações, 19 Votos
Victorioussf 40 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
I like my women like I like my coffee   19/10/2023

I send it back for not being hot enough!


1 Comentários, 27 Visualizações, 22 Votos
Springfiel117 43 H
18 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Meh   10/10/2023

When did the messenger stop letting new members message people using points?


0 Comentários, 25 Visualizações, 19 Votos ,0.09 Pontuação
DracwulaX 53 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
The Engagement Ring   9/10/2023

The kinky couples had a long & restless weekend, husband uses his free hand & pushes his wife's belly in ward, he said ... "Don't move my love ... I think I found our engagement ring"... he pulls his wrist out of her ass... curious, he then said... "This isn't mine".


0 Comentários, 11 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,0.53 Pontuação
sisyforblackcock 66 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
joke   9/8/2023

question what's better than a dozen roses on a piano <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> answer tulips (two lips) on an organ


1 Comentários, 33 Visualizações, 29 Votos
slaveyearning 43 M
35 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
guaranteed weight loss   4/5/2023

man walking down the street and sees a sign that says guaranteed weight loss. <br><br> he goes inside and sees a real beauty at the desk and asks about the sign and she explains. pay 100.00 and we guarantee 10lbs weight loss in one day. excited he pays her the money and she instructs him to strip off his clothes and go into the room with the green door. inside he finds the most ...


3 Comentários, 100 Visualizações, 33 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
Bootman622 61 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
The Biker   30/3/2023

A man riding his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish. <br><br> The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." <br><br> The Lord said, ...


1 Comentários, 74 Visualizações, 32 Votos ,0.71 Pontuação
Mr_X75 48 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
How do you piss off Whinney The Pooh?   8/3/2023

Stick two fingers in his honey ...


1 Comentários, 84 Visualizações, 66 Votos
4isbig 46 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
I flirted with disaster last night   11/12/2022

Now disaster won’t stop texting me.


0 Comentários, 84 Visualizações, 78 Votos
Yorksintoon 54 H
4 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Succeed   11/10/2022

If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking until you do suck seed.


0 Comentários, 168 Visualizações, 150 Votos
Yorksintoon 54 H
4 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Sperm   3/10/2022

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.


1 Comentários, 153 Visualizações, 138 Votos
Yorksintoon 54 H
4 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Give it to me!   3/10/2022

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.


2 Comentários, 150 Visualizações, 126 Votos
Yorksintoon 54 H
4 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Sex Tape   25/9/2022

My neighbours just made a sex tape. of course, they don't know yet.


1 Comentários, 128 Visualizações, 110 Votos
MasterP2022 43 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Fishing   2/8/2022

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.


1 Comentários, 177 Visualizações, 153 Votos
MasterP2022 43 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Mobster joke   2/8/2022

What do you call a mobster who’s buried in cement? A hardened criminal.


1 Comentários, 152 Visualizações, 139 Votos
SexyLilTart21 24 M
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
just coz   26/7/2022

ignore this plz..


1 Comentários, 52 Visualizações, 41 Votos ,0.33 Pontuação
jthpbigck84 37 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Any?   14/7/2022

Any funny sex jokes anyone would like to share? I think we can all use a laugh!


0 Comentários, 173 Visualizações, 159 Votos
breederdad4677 43 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
coins   4/7/2022

just for coins


0 Comentários, 0 Visualizações, 0 Votos
UpstateDom30 32 H
3 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A common theme   26/6/2022

I see a lot of posts for points


0 Comentários, 152 Visualizações, 133 Votos
UpstateDom30 32 H
3 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A common theme   26/6/2022

I see a lot of posts for points


1 Comentários, 132 Visualizações, 121 Votos
UpstateDom30 32 H
3 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A common theme   26/6/2022

I see a lot of posts for points


2 Comentários, 97 Visualizações, 85 Votos
lonelymom4play 46 M
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
hmm   14/5/2022

for points bcoz im poor


4 Comentários, 142 Visualizações, 115 Votos ,0.08 Pontuação
chfnut55 68 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
Confronting hate   30/3/2022

hi-speed lead posioning is needed. What is the difference between flying pigs and politicians? The letter F. Three tampons sitting at a bus stop. What do they say to each other? Nothing. They’re stuck-up cunts. All the richest people in Congress are Democrats, ever wonder why?


2 Comentários, 79 Visualizações, 54 Votos ,0.08 Pontuação
Rubicon447 63 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
points   15/3/2022

just for points


1 Comentários, 111 Visualizações, 102 Votos
staggerlee7819 45 H
3 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A laughting motorcycle   16/8/2021

What do you call a laughting motorcycle? <br><br> A Yamahahaha


5 Comentários, 213 Visualizações, 183 Votos
jthpbigck69 39 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Any funny Sex Stories   12/8/2021

Anyone love to share something funny that has occurred in bed?


2 Comentários, 159 Visualizações, 140 Votos
staggerlee7819 45 H
3 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Airplanes   11/8/2021

I have a joke about airplanes, but it seems to go over peoples heads.


2 Comentários, 169 Visualizações, 151 Votos
JTP84HUGE1 39 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
SEX Jokes   26/7/2021

Anyone have some funny jokes or stories that have occurred while in the sack?


0 Comentários, 119 Visualizações, 101 Votos
jtphugeone69 39 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
JOKERS   5/5/2021

Any funny sex jokes out there?


0 Comentários, 117 Visualizações, 104 Votos
staggerlee7819 45 H
3 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
bad joke   28/4/2021

man walks into a bar.... ouch!


2 Comentários, 169 Visualizações, 136 Votos
JTHPBIGONE69 39 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Funny   8/4/2021

An funny sex jokes out there?


0 Comentários, 98 Visualizações, 88 Votos
ClimaxHer 65 H
6 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Vaccine joke   26/2/2021

If we get our Covid vaccine shot in our butt, can we call that shot a "Butta-Fauci?"


3 Comentários, 173 Visualizações, 158 Votos
ClimaxHer 65 H
6 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Mask-cott   25/2/2021

If we boycott the mask mandates, can we that a "Mask-cott"?


2 Comentários, 155 Visualizações, 140 Votos
ClimaxHer 65 H
6 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Canine quarantine   21/2/2021

The World Health Organization, W.H.O., is concerned that the new virus will spread to dogs. Therefore they have ordered all dogs worldwide to be quarantined for 14 to keep dogs safe from the new covid virus. 15 days from now you can release your dog out of quarantine, and then you can sing "W.H.O. let the dogs out?"


6 Comentários, 124 Visualizações, 103 Votos
Rubicon447 63 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Bad dad joke   3/2/2021

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!


4 Comentários, 142 Visualizações, 123 Votos
daddy2_fuk_u 64 H
3 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Ladies and Gentlemen   6/1/2021

I give you all. <br><br> Joke ends


1 Comentários, 59 Visualizações, 48 Votos
jtpbigcck69 39 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Dirty jokes   9/10/2020

Anyone have good dirty jokes to share? lol


2 Comentários, 85 Visualizações, 71 Votos
jollygreenj1 66 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
kinsey   14/5/2020

Anyone else old enough remember the movie ""? They claimed Revel's Bolero was THE choice in banging music. Awhile later Kinsey did A study and OMG Bolero was America's choice. Incredibly enough for Gay Men their choice was also a classical piece the "William Bend Overture".


4 Comentários, 254 Visualizações, 223 Votos ,0.05 Pontuação
justanotherperv7 27 M
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
ignore please :P   7/4/2020

taco butt


10 Comentários, 369 Visualizações, 301 Votos ,0.28 Pontuação
rikkalikestoo699 24 M
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
please ignore   20/3/2020

just for coz im horny


0 Comentários, 8 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,1.62 Pontuação
tazdawg46 54 H
41 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
blonde school teacher   15/3/2020

a young blonde school teacher was trying to make her students understand blood circulation. after going over what the books said a couple of times she realized it was going to take more effort on her part to make them understand. since she was wearing pants she stood on her head against the wall for couple minutes. then she asked a couple of students to come up and make observations. one of them ...


2 Comentários, 215 Visualizações, 110 Votos ,0.26 Pontuação
Guard_u 43 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Making jokes of others 02   26/2/2020

I can imagine why some people make jokes of others.... Bottom line is that most of them have low self-esteem. What do u think ?


1 Comentários, 184 Visualizações, 166 Votos ,0.55 Pontuação
Guard_u 43 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Making jokes of others 01   12/2/2020

Telling jokes so every one laughs is one thing, making fun of someone is another. Making something thats funny a joke is something else than making him a joke ! ty


3 Comentários, 194 Visualizações, 177 Votos ,0.63 Pontuação
ForbiddenStudent 38 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Canadian joke   29/1/2020

How do you upset a Canadian? In conversation, say "oh, you meant ice hockey."


9 Comentários, 300 Visualizações, 238 Votos ,0.49 Pontuação
Stradolin 56 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Why?   16/1/2020

Why do women wake up and rub their eyes? <br><br> Because they don't have any balls to scratch.


6 Comentários, 280 Visualizações, 231 Votos ,0.73 Pontuação
Darkmatterwants 68 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
Sexist   13/1/2020

Why do women have smaller feet than men? <br><br> To enable them to get closer to the kitchen sink!


0 Comentários, 10 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,1.77 Pontuação
RBlu1 49 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
How many good people   11/1/2020

Does it take to find


4 Comentários, 245 Visualizações, 197 Votos ,0.28 Pontuação
coffeebuddy4u 54 H
0 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Hunting Season   8/1/2020

A father goes hunting for some deer and he nails a beautiful 1o point buck butt does a bad job cleaning the meat when he makes it for dinner. His wife comes by later and says "Dear I was masturbating and I found a pellet." He thinks nothing of it and tell her not to worry about it. Later his daughter comes by says she got horny and found a pellet when she tried to fuck herself. He ...


3 Comentários, 275 Visualizações, 155 Votos ,1.37 Pontuação
ForbiddenStudent 38 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A dad joke   5/1/2020

Did you hear about the Victoria's secret in Canada? They are thinking of changing their name to 'Panty Hosers'.


5 Comentários, 176 Visualizações, 144 Votos ,1.06 Pontuação
Stradolin 56 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
How Many?   1/1/2020

How many guitarists does it take change a light bulb? <br><br> . change it and 10 sit around and say, "I could have changed that way better!"


1 Comentários, 97 Visualizações, 86 Votos ,1.66 Pontuação
iwant2useu_uk 50 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
... dad joke ...   29/12/2019

"How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!"


1 Comentários, 56 Visualizações, 49 Votos ,0.57 Pontuação
jf23231 53 H
3 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The doctor is in   26/12/2019

Knock knock


5 Comentários, 65 Visualizações, 37 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
Stradolin 56 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
What's the difference?   26/12/2019

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? <br><br> The taste.


1 Comentários, 34 Visualizações, 24 Votos ,1.77 Pontuação
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Barred2   23/12/2019

Bear walks into a bar. <br><br> Bear:- "one pint of .......................... beer please" <br><br> Barman:- "why the long pause?" <br><br> (Bear:- "waiting for more points")


2 Comentários, 33 Visualizações, 25 Votos ,1.47 Pontuação
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Barred   23/12/2019

Horse walks into a bar. <br><br> Barman:- "why the long face?" <br><br> (Horse:- "Haven't got enough points to chat to someone...")


3 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 14 Votos ,1.54 Pontuação
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Hoping to make a good point.....   23/12/2019

<br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> <br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> . .... or 2 or 3.


2 Comentários, 20 Visualizações, 12 Votos ,0.86 Pontuação
iwant2useu_uk 50 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Dad Joke...   21/12/2019

What’s Beethoven doing in his grave... <br><br> De-composing


2 Comentários, 17 Visualizações, 13 Votos ,1.30 Pontuação
iwant2useu_uk 50 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Dad Joke . . .   19/12/2019

Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh!


0 Comentários, 6 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,1.37 Pontuação
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
What goes up, and never comes down?..........................   12/12/2019

<br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> . <br><br> . ..... the amount of points needed to chat to someone on IM!!


3 Comentários, 12 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,4.77 Pontuação
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Getting all catty   10/12/2019

Entered my cat into the cat olympics milk drinking competition. She set a new lap record...


0 Comentários, 6 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,1.69 Pontuação
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Just getting by.   10/12/2019

What's the point? where's the points?


0 Comentários, 4 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.81 Pontuação
Bbc4creampie 34 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
corner warmup   26/11/2019

why should you sit in a corner when you get cold? because most corners are 90 degrees.


2 Comentários, 16 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,2.57 Pontuação
Bbc4creampie 34 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
pirate pay   26/11/2019

how much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? an arm and a leg.


2 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,2.19 Pontuação
thtwtwy765 37 M
3 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A joke is a short humorous piece of oral literature in which the funniness culminates in the final s   6/11/2019

A joke is a short humorous piece of oral literature in which the funniness culminates in the final sentence, called the punchline… In fact, the main condition is that the tension should reach its highest level at the very end. No continuation relieving the tension should be added. As for its being "oral, " it is true that jokes may appear printed, but when further transferred, there ...


5 Comentários, 50 Visualizações, 18 Votos ,4.08 Pontuação
knott4milfs 30 H
13 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
watching   5/11/2019

watching drunk bitches get drunk and start to fight and watching them fight is funny


0 Comentários, 7 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,3.63 Pontuação
iwant2useu_uk 50 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
cheesy joke....   2/11/2019

Where did you learn how to make ice cream? At sundae school.


2 Comentários, 8 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,1.94 Pontuação
Stradolin 56 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Difference?   30/10/2019

Q: What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? <br><br> A: The taste.


0 Comentários, 4 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.43 Pontuação
u_serve_me_now 47 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Chuck Norris   26/10/2019

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he already had three missed calls by Chuck Norris!


2 Comentários, 12 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,2.02 Pontuação
u_serve_me_now 47 H
2 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?   26/10/2019

How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> ... all! hahahah!


1 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,1.29 Pontuação
iwant2useu_uk 50 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
dad joke....   24/10/2019

"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."


1 Comentários, 6 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.47 Pontuação
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
make your point   14/10/2019

Hoping to make lots of points here.


1 Comentários, 6 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.08 Pontuação
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
You old dog you   12/10/2019

What type of has magical powers.................................................................................................. ............................... ............................. ......................... .................. ............ .......... ...... A labracadabrador


0 Comentários, 6 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,1.94 Pontuação
Verycherry111 44 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Points   10/10/2019

Hey there, points points points.


0 Comentários, 3 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
Verycherry111 44 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Points   10/10/2019

Hey there, points points points.


2 Comentários, 12 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,1.37 Pontuação
Verycherry111 44 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Points   10/10/2019

Hey there, points points points.


0 Comentários, 6 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,2.16 Pontuação
Verycherry111 44 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Points   10/10/2019

Hey there, points points points.


0 Comentários, 5 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,1.69 Pontuação
Verycherry111 44 H
5 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Points   10/10/2019

Hey there, points points points.


0 Comentários, 3 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,1.96 Pontuação
Niceblueeeyes36 47 H
9 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Oranges and lemons   9/10/2019

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot.......................... <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> ................... a carrot.


0 Comentários, 8 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,2.23 Pontuação
dog4milfs12 23 H
12 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
looking at you   5/10/2019

looking for a woman here can be very hard because all they want is what they prefer there wants most of the ladies here don;t even realize that they are way off on there wants there nothing here that is perfect you want all that tell we see your picture and we see that your fucking joking ladies wake up this is not fantasy world your not everything you though you where believe most men here at ...


0 Comentários, 16 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,1.29 Pontuação
dog4milfs12 23 H
12 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
dirty   3/10/2019

meeting new mature woman is a joke because some are sooo serious and some are soo picky come on you are too picky your mature you dont have the same when you where soooo quit being sooo picky


0 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,0.86 Pontuação
xextrax 54 H
7 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
what did the cock say ... ?   26/8/2019

what did the cock say to the pussy? <br><br> why, 'yes', of course!


0 Comentários, 24 Visualizações, 16 Votos ,1.66 Pontuação
jf23231a 53 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
Knock Knock   19/6/2019

whos there ?


3 Comentários, 26 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,0.92 Pontuação
meki871987 36 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
I always laugth on this   9/1/2019

This reminds me, when i was tied up by the first time, and suddenly I had to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't


6 Comentários, 118 Visualizações, 22 Votos ,6.37 Pontuação
ToniBiM 63 H
0 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
ER Visit   31/12/2018

A man goes into the ER complaining of anal pain. The doctor orders x-rays to see what's going on. When reviewing the x-rays they notice 3 plastic horse heads inside the man's ass. The nurse looks at the doctor and says... <br><br> "Doctor, will he be alright?" <br><br> The doctor replies.... <br><br> "Don't worry nurse he's ...


1 Comentários, 28 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.86 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Tattoo   30/7/2018

A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a basketball player. They start to talk, and eventually, go back to his place. They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK. 'What's that?' the lady questions. 'Oh, I have this so that when I'm on TV, people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me.' ...


3 Comentários, 81 Visualizações, 15 Votos ,4.82 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Get well soon!   27/7/2018

A traffic cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. <br><br> Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at ...


4 Comentários, 92 Visualizações, 13 Votos ,4.65 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Prostitute Files Her Tax Return   27/7/2018

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. <br><br> The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, and then asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, ...


7 Comentários, 105 Visualizações, 16 Votos ,4.74 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Born When?   24/7/2018

I was chatting to this girl in the pub last night and told her of my uncanny ability to be able to tell the day any woman was born, simply by holding their breasts in my hands. <br><br> She thought I was having her on but was nonetheless very curious. <br><br> Eventually curiosity got the better of her and she said “Oh go-on then, give it a go!” <br><br> I ...


3 Comentários, 58 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,3.39 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The Silent Treatment   23/7/2018

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00am for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00am" and left it where he knew she would find ...


0 Comentários, 49 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,3.25 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Confession   20/7/2018

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. <br><br> When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, The man said: 'Father ... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.' ...


2 Comentários, 49 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,3.63 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Getting The Most Out Of Counselling   15/7/2018

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counselling. They had been at each other's throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the counsellor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be ...


2 Comentários, 38 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,2.32 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The King And The Counts   15/7/2018

A King ordered the heads of several of his counts chopped off because they refused to reveal where they had buried their treasures. As the axes began to fall, one count decided to change his mind, but it was too late. Moral: Don't hatchet your counts before they chicken. !"


0 Comentários, 24 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,2.49 Pontuação
SoliceFun 40 H
0 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Small get together   12/7/2018

Son: There will be a small gathering in the school tomorrow. Please come. Dad: What do you mean? Who will be there? Son: Only you, me, and the school principal.


3 Comentários, 116 Visualizações, 12 Votos ,3.33 Pontuação
evansjih 35 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
All idiot   12/7/2018

Teacher: All idiots stand up. A boy stands up. Teacher: So you are an idiot? Boy: No. I can’t bear your standing alone Sir.


3 Comentários, 91 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,5.18 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
THE HORTH WITHPERER   12/7/2018

Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. Sam asks "How will I recognize him?" "That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment." So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "Nith ...


2 Comentários, 39 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.43 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The Golfer and the Leprechaun.   12/7/2018

An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him. "Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked. "I'm afraid I hit you ...


1 Comentários, 37 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,4.22 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
My First Time   9/7/2018

It was my first time ever And I'll never forget I'd do it again Without a single regret. <br><br> The sky was dark The moon was high We were all alone Just she and I. <br><br> Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what She wanted to do. <br><br> Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine. <br><br> I ...


3 Comentários, 35 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,4.50 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Blonde Painting   9/7/2018

One day a blonde comes out of the tanning salon. She wants to make some money so she goes to one of the rich neighborhoods. She rings the door bell and says, "HI, is there anything I could do for your house or you???" <br><br> The man thinks and says, "Sure, can paint my porch. You will find all the stuff in the garage." <br><br> The girl says, ...


2 Comentários, 37 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,3.80 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A Drunk   28/6/2018

A drunk walks out of a bar with akey in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, 'Can I help you Sir?' 'Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr', the man replies. The cop asks, 'Where was your car the last time you saw it?' 'It wasss on the end of thisshh key', the man replies. About that time the cop looks down ...


1 Comentários, 38 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,4.98 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Organist   28/6/2018

A small church had a very attractive big- busted organist and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. <br><br> Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. <br><br> <br><br> So, one ...


1 Comentários, 47 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,5.04 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Finally a sensitive man   12/6/2018

A woman meets a good-looking man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There ! are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the ...


1 Comentários, 48 Visualizações, 12 Votos ,5.98 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
"I’ve outlived my dick." A Poem - by Willie Nelson   6/6/2018

My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my pride and joy, Is now my water spout. <br><br> Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I've got a full time job, To find the friggin thing. <br><br> It used to be embarrassing, The way it would behave. For every single morning, It would stand and watch me shave. ...


0 Comentários, 26 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,5.99 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Senior Surgery   4/6/2018

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. 'Yes, dad, what is it?' 'Don't be nervous, son; Do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with ...


0 Comentários, 36 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,4.82 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
AN OVERWEIGHT BLONDE   4/6/2018

An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds. <br><br> The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the whole twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for ...


1 Comentários, 41 Visualizações, 14 Votos ,3.94 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Honesty   4/6/2018

A girl says to her mother "I know where babies come from Mummy. Sarah told me." Her mother replied "And where is that, dear?" The girl says "She said that you put Daddy's thing in your mouth, and stuff comes out, and goes in your belly and that's where babies grow." Her mother corrected her "No dear, that's where jewelry comes from."


1 Comentários, 28 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,4.38 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
My Travel Plans for 2018-2019   4/6/2018

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. <br><br> I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. <br><br> I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my ...


1 Comentários, 23 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,4.45 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Holiday Present   28/5/2018

Bob's wife is going off to Paris for a long weekend with her girlfriends. As he drives her to the airport, she says to him: <br><br> "Is there anything you'd like me to bring you back from Paris?" <br><br> Bob thinks about it for a while, and then jokes, "How about you bring me back a cute little French girl?" <br><br> Bob's wife ...


1 Comentários, 39 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,4.29 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Billy Bob and Luther   24/5/2018

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther" Ya knowI reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it A little different. The last few years I took your advice about where to go." "Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant." "Then two years ago you told me to go ...


0 Comentários, 29 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,4.78 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
WELL, I'LL BE DOG GONE   17/5/2018

A guy walks into a bar with his dog and says, "I'll have a otch and water and my dog would like a whiskey sour." <br><br> The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't allow animals in here." <br><br> The dog replies, "Hey, I'm tired of being diriminated against. Just give me a drink." <br><br> The bartender says, "Oh, no, ...


1 Comentários, 45 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,3.94 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Photo on the night stand   16/5/2018

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. <br><br> 'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks. <br><br> 'No, silly, ' she replies, snuggling up to him. <br><br> 'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues. <br><br> 'No, not at all, ...


1 Comentários, 28 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,3.25 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Underwear dust   3/5/2018

evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!' <br><br> His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. <br><br> The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. ...


2 Comentários, 49 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,2.14 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Fireman Sex   1/5/2018

A FIREMAN came home from work day and told his wife, 'You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. <br><br> 'From now on when I say BELL 1 I want you to strip naked. <br><br> When I say BELL 2 I want you to ...


0 Comentários, 31 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,4.90 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
THE BOTTLE OF WINE   1/5/2018

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine: Mary was driving home from of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet , she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman ...


0 Comentários, 25 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.92 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
THE CORK   30/4/2018

Arab terrorists were in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class in Toronto, when notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his arse. If you do not mind me saying, " stated the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?" I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in my arse." "I do ...


0 Comentários, 34 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,2.49 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
YOU CAN'T FOOL THE IRISH.......   30/4/2018

Mrs O'Brien comes to visit her son Seamus for 3 days in Dublin where he is studying. She finds out that her son lives with Vikki, a girl roomate. Mrs O'Brien couldn't but notice how pretty Seamus's room-mate was. She suspects of a relationship between the , and this had only made her more curious. Reading his Mum's thoughts, Seamus volunteered, "I know what you must be ...


0 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,5.20 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Cowboy   24/4/2018

Cowboy: GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE. <br><br> CASHIER: DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG SIR? <br><br> Cowboy: NAH... SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY!


1 Comentários, 17 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,1.66 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
THE BOTTLE OF WINE   17/4/2018

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine: Mary was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo ...


0 Comentários, 19 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,3.30 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
YOU CAN'T FOOL THE IRISH.......   17/4/2018

Mrs O'Brien comes to visit her son Seamus for 3 days in Dublin where he is studying. She finds out that her son lives with Vikki, a girl roomate. Mrs O'Brien couldn't help but notice how pretty Seamus's room-mate was. She suspects of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Reading his Mum's thoughts, Seamus volunteered, "I know what you ...


2 Comentários, 19 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,3.21 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
WHEELIE BIN   17/4/2018

A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his dustcart. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out so he has a quick look for it, (unusual I know), goes round the back but still can't see it, so he knocks on the door. There's no answer so he knocks again. Eventually a Japanese bloke answers... "Harro", says the ...


1 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,3.01 Pontuação
Youngknight00 27 H
4 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Blowjobs   13/4/2018

A husband comes home to find his wife packing a suitcase <br><br> "Where are you going?" He asked <br><br> "Las Vegas" she said' " You can get $400 for a blowjob there, so i figured i would get paid for something i give you for free" <br><br> "Hold on" He said " im coming too, i want to see you survive on only ...


1 Comentários, 20 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.14 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Disappointed   9/4/2018

A teacher asked her 6th grade class: “Who can tell me, which human organ becomes 10 times bigger when it’s stimulated?” <br><br> Maria stood up, bright red and angry, and said “How can you ask such a question? I’m telling my parents and they’re going to get you fired!” <br><br> The teacher was shocked by the outburst, but decided to ignore it. She asked the ...


1 Comentários, 33 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,2.57 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A drover in the Northern Territories   8/4/2018

A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. <br><br> He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. <br><br> Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. <br><br> 'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll ...


0 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,4.45 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Good Ears   28/3/2018

A young man moved into his first new apartment on his own, and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke ...


1 Comentários, 45 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,4.06 Pontuação
chaosridden 33 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
:P pointless   15/3/2018

Baka la a derka derka


1 Comentários, 6 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,0.34 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Vanilla Pudding Robbery   13/3/2018

This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2. Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes ...


0 Comentários, 32 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,4.07 Pontuação
Youngknight00 27 H
4 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Secret to marriage   12/3/2018

There was a couple who were married for 20 years, and every time they had sex the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was stupid. She figured she would break him of the crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of doing it, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a dildo. ...


0 Comentários, 24 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.47 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
TWO STRINGS   6/3/2018

These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this bar..." <br><br> The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders... The bartender shouts, "Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?" <br><br> String says "Yeah." ...


0 Comentários, 28 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,2.32 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A LITTLE BRITISH HUMOUR   5/3/2018

The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well> dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?' The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans> are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.' The ...


1 Comentários, 35 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,4.78 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The Vicar's Salary.   2/3/2018

The local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave. <br><br> Mike Smith, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!' ...


1 Comentários, 32 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,1.94 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Chicken Sandwich   25/2/2018

Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what..... <br><br> A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken ...


0 Comentários, 34 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,3.54 Pontuação
Youngknight00 27 H
4 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Toys   24/2/2018

What do boobs and toys have in common? <br><br> They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.


0 Comentários, 7 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.43 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Mice   18/2/2018

Mice How Many Mice Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb? <br><br> Now, wait a minute, before you scroll down for the answer, see if you can figure this out. Come on... Think about it! How many? <br><br> All right, if you think you're really ready to give up... <br><br> but you're going to be very embarrassed.. <br><br> <br><br> ...


1 Comentários, 25 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.14 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Frank   17/2/2018

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.' Passenger: 'Who?' Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.' Passenger: ...


0 Comentários, 26 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,3.55 Pontuação
Youngknight00 27 H
4 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Truth   16/2/2018

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. <br><br> Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” <br><br> The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. <br><br> A while later, she comes running back with ...


0 Comentários, 18 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.86 Pontuação
Youngknight00 27 H
4 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Math class   14/2/2018

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" <br><br> Johnny says, "None." <br><br> The teacher asks, "Why?" <br><br> Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." ...


1 Comentários, 19 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,4.22 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Primark Catalogue   9/2/2018

Two Thanetians were looking at a Primark Catalog and admiring the Models. <br><br> One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this Catalog?' <br><br> The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!' The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying ...


0 Comentários, 25 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,1.69 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Crosses   8/2/2018

What do you get if you cross a bullet and a tree with no leaves? A cartridge in a bare tree. <br><br> What would you get if you crossed a bat with a lly hearts club? Lots of blind dates. <br><br> What would you get if you crossed a donkey with an owl? A smart ass which knows it all. <br><br> What would you get if you crossed a mole with a porcupine? A tunnel ...


1 Comentários, 17 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,2.49 Pontuação
Youngknight00 27 H
4 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Apples   6/2/2018

A bus driver and a doctor were in love with the same women <br><br> The bus driver had to leave for week and before he left he gave is love 7 apples


1 Comentários, 23 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,0.53 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A smart blonde!   1/2/2018

A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know, " he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk." The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to ...


2 Comentários, 40 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,3.25 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Three Little Pigs   1/2/2018

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order. <br><br> 'I would like a Sprite, ' said the first little piggy. <br><br> <br><br> ! 'I would like a Coke, ' said the second little piggy. <br><br> 'I want beer, lots and lots of beer, ' said the third little piggy. ...


3 Comentários, 32 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,2.23 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Date Site Descriptions   31/1/2018

You might find this amusing. Dating Site Deriptions What they Really MEAN: !!!! <br><br> Female: Adventurous = puts the book down during sex, . Athletic = No breasts, 30 something = 41, Fun =Annoying, Wild = gets pissed easily, Beautiful eyes = face like a robbers dog, Seeks knight in sinning armour = Ex is a fxxxing nutter., New age = hairy and smelly bits, A bit head strong ...


1 Comentários, 21 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,1.69 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Doctors Never Laugh   31/1/2018

Bob went to a doctor and asked him if he ever laughed at a patient. The doctor replied 'Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional. In over twenty I've never laughed at a patient.' 'Okay then, ' Bob said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA ...


0 Comentários, 17 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,1.47 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Office Showoff   29/1/2018

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the ph and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, ''Can I ...


0 Comentários, 24 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,1.30 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
gissa a job   29/1/2018

This Kid will go far... This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so hst and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash. SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, ...


0 Comentários, 14 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.08 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Maxims   22/1/2018

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. Two wrongs are only the beginning. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Change is inevitable except from vending machines. Get a new car ...


0 Comentários, 19 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,2.16 Pontuação
pack3rs 55 T
7 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
North Carolina mountain man was drafted by the Army   22/1/2018

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been ...


0 Comentários, 29 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.47 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Spelling.....   21/1/2018

Thought you’d like this: Rearrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when erect! <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> P N E S I <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> ...


0 Comentários, 20 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,1.47 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A mental hospital   19/1/2018

After hearing that of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the reuer's file and ed him into his office. <br><br> "Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself ...


0 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Two Scots   18/1/2018

ots, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub diussing Jock's forthcoming wedding. 'Ach, it's all going grand, ' says Jock. 'I've got everything organised already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night... Archie nods approvingly. 'Havens, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!' continues Jock. 'A ...


0 Comentários, 20 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.86 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX   17/1/2018

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. <br><br> Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one ...


0 Comentários, 18 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.08 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX   17/1/2018

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. <br><br> Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one ...


0 Comentários, 7 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.08 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
But My Wife Won't Like It   16/1/2018

A Golfer accidentally overturned his cart. <br><br> Elizabeth, a "beautiful" real golfer who lived in a villa on the golf course heard the noise and yelled over to him. <br><br> "Hey, are you okay, what's your name?" "Willis, " he replied. <br><br> "Willis forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest up and I'll you ...


0 Comentários, 26 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,3.08 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Dolphins   16/1/2018

A few ago, there was a really eccentric oil tycoon who had taken it into his head to collect really strange and exotic pets. day, deciding to add to his collection, he walked into the store of an exotic pet shop and said to the salesman, "Show me the most unusual pet you have in stock!" The salesman took him to an outside tank, in which a pod of dolphins were frolicking happily. ...


0 Comentários, 16 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,0.92 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Racing Snail   13/1/2018

My racing snail is not winning races anymore so I decided to take his shell off to reduce his weight and make him more aerodynamic. It didnt work if anything its made him more sluggish


0 Comentários, 8 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.86 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The Bacon Tree   13/1/2018

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... <br><br> 'Hey Jose, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet.' <br><br> 'Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee.' <br><br> So, with renewed strength, they ...


0 Comentários, 18 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,2.51 Pontuação
pack3rs 55 T
7 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Old man's health check up   12/1/2018

An old man went to the doctor suffering from Piles. The doctor gave him pesaries and told him to put in his rectum every night and come back after week. <br><br> When he got home he said to his wife "Have we got a rectum?". She replied "What's a rectum?". <br><br> The old man said "I've no idea but I have to put of these in it every ...


0 Comentários, 25 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,3.65 Pontuação
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Italian Honeymoon...   9/1/2018

The Italian Honeymoon... <br><br> After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his old friends... Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep?" Luigi said, "Everyting perfecto, except for da traina ride..." "Whata you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni. "Well, we ...


2 Comentários, 32 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,3.71 Pontuação
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Little Sally   9/1/2018

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!"... Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut... " Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Mom ...


3 Comentários, 25 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,5.07 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Leaving Early   9/1/2018

women all worked in the same office, with the same female boss. Each day they noticed that the boss would leave work early. day, the women decided, that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never ed, or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early. <br><br> The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, ed ...


0 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,1.69 Pontuação
pack3rs 55 T
7 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A patient rings his doctor...   9/1/2018

A patient rings his doctor... <br><br> Patient: "Doctor, I applied that Hemorrhoid cream you gave me and got a terrible reaction!" <br><br> Doctor: "Okay, where exactly did you apply it?" <br><br> Patient: "On the bus."


0 Comentários, 16 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,3.37 Pontuação
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Disappointed...   6/1/2018

A teacher asked her 6th grade class: “Who can tell me, which human organ becomes 10 times bigger when it’s stimulated?” <br><br> Maria stood up, bright red and angry, and said “How can you ask such a question? I’m telling my parents and they’re going to get you fired!” <br><br> The teacher was shocked by the outburst, but decided to ignore it. She asked the ...


4 Comentários, 38 Visualizações, 7 Votos ,4.31 Pontuação
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
No more a Virgin   6/1/2018

No more a Virgin <br><br> The family is at the dining table. The little 10-year-old girl does not eat and has her nose in her plate…. <br><br> After a few moments, she says, “I’ve something to tell you people” <br><br> Silence around the table. “I’m no longer virgin”, and she begins to cry. A long silence again. <br><br> And then… ...


2 Comentários, 36 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,3.25 Pontuação
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Crabs...   6/1/2018

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. <br><br> She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. <br><br> He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in an arrogant manner that he was a lawyer and ...


4 Comentários, 36 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,3.93 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
NI Women   27/12/2017

Three men sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties to perform. Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his new wife to do all the dishes and house cleaning in the house. He said it took a couple of days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and all the dishes were cleaned and put away. James had married a woman from ...


0 Comentários, 21 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,2.82 Pontuação
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Handyman Husband???...   26/12/2017

On a cold winter morning, wife texts husband: "WINDOWS FROZEN, WON'T OPEN" Husband texts back: "POUR SOME LUKEWARM WATER OVER IT AND TAP GENTLY ALONG THE EDGES WITH A HAMMER" Five minutes later wife texts husband: "COMPUTER REALLY SCREWED UP NOW"


0 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.73 Pontuação
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Crumbled Money///   26/12/2017

While enjoying their evening cocktails, the wife asks her husband, in a very seductive voice, "Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?" "No, " said her husband. <br><br> She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a ...


1 Comentários, 32 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,4.80 Pontuação
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
THE SPOON AND THE STRING   25/12/2017

A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization. <br><br> Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. <br><br> When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he Also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I ...


1 Comentários, 17 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
AlphaLthr 74 M
36 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
This Is HELL to Write About:   22/12/2017

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil... Satan: "Why so glum?" Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!" Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?" Guy: "Sure, I love to drink." Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays ...


0 Comentários, 24 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,4.41 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Frozen Turkey   18/12/2017

Sarah new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, 'Richard doesn't appreciate what I do for him.' 'Now, now, ' her mother comforted, 'I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.' 'No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price.' 'Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate, ' ...


0 Comentários, 20 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
pack3rs 55 T
7 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Lion cage cleaner   17/12/2017

My first job was at our local Zoo, sweeping the shit out of the lion, s cage........ most of it was mine. They fired me the next week for leaving the cage door open, I said "oh come on, who, s gonna steal a Lion?"


0 Comentários, 9 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.12 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
I want to see something really cheap   15/12/2017

After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. <br><br> <br><br> "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. <br><br> "That's a bit much, " said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. ...


1 Comentários, 21 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.81 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Ethel   14/12/2017

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in. day Ethel was speeding up corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his ...


1 Comentários, 21 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,2.42 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The Wedding Night.   13/12/2017

eggs decide to get married. Along comes the big day and everything goes to plan. But they are both very nervous about the hymoon night so the female egg decides to dress up in a skimpy little negligee to them get excited. The husband comes along and sees his wife dressed like this and all off a sudden runs into the bathroom and locks the door. The wife is very shocked by his behavior but ...


0 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.73 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Catholic Dog   13/12/2017

Muldoon lived al in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. day the dog died, and Muldoon we nt to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?" Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have s for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and ...


0 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,5.00 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Onions And Christmas Trees   7/12/2017

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? <br><br> The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are kinds of Boobs: <br><br> In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. <br><br> In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. ...


0 Comentários, 28 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,5.10 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
LIFE THOUGHTS BY 'DUCKY'   6/12/2017

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me. <br><br> Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. <br><br> Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. <br><br> How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty ...


0 Comentários, 17 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,5.39 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Looks of Disappointment   5/12/2017

A Irishman was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're truly beautiful." Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're really cute." The wife was ...


1 Comentários, 24 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,4.90 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
ONLY IN SCOTLAND   4/12/2017

A Scottish soldier in full dress marches into a pharmacy to speak to the chemist. The Scot opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, opens it to reveal a smaller silk square which he unfolds to reveal a condom. The condom has a number of patches on it. He holds it up. 'How much to repair it?' the Scot asks the pharmacist.'Six pence, ' says the chemist. ...


1 Comentários, 21 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.43 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Trained   29/11/2017

An old man who'd lived all his life back up in the hills came to visit a childhood friend. Now he'd never laid eyes on a train or the iron rails on which they run. Standing in the middle of the tracks one day, he heard a distant whistle... WOOOO--ooo---OOOOO! but didn't have a clue as to what it meant or his impending danger. Predictably, the old boy is hit -- fortunately ...


1 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,4.41 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Mick & Paddy   26/11/2017

Mick met Paddy in the street and said, 'Paddy, will you draw your bedroom curtains before making love to your wife in future?' 'Bejaysus Why?' Paddy asked. 'Because, ' said Mick, 'the whole street was laughing when they saw you making love yesterday.' Paddy said, 'Stupid bastards, the laugh's on them ... I wasn't home yesterday.'


1 Comentários, 21 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,4.12 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Paddy   24/11/2017

Paddy walks into his GP's surgery and punches doctor! He then shouts "You bastrd telling my wife she has a nice fanny!" The doctor says "I told her she's got acute angina..!"


1 Comentários, 17 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,4.22 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Deodoranjt   20/11/2017

I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.


1 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,4.45 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Near Death Experience   20/11/2017

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She ...


0 Comentários, 23 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,3.80 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The Blonde and the Casino   20/11/2017

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand rand (R20, 000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm Completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" ...


0 Comentários, 23 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,4.41 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
HOLY SOAP   14/11/2017

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. <br><br> They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap. <br><br> Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, while he is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way.. Having no place to ...


0 Comentários, 21 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,5.43 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Elderly Couple   13/11/2017

An elderly couple who were both widowed had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the ...


1 Comentários, 26 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,4.41 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
This old wino   10/11/2017

This old wino staggers into a bar and the barman immediately told him to get out. The tramp said that he would only leave if the barman gave him a cocktail stick. The barman, thinking this was a fair exchange, gladly gave the man a cocktail stick and watched him stagger back outside. <br><br> A minute later another old wino walked into the bar and got asked to leave by the barman. ...


1 Comentários, 24 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,4.80 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Frozen Wimdows   6/11/2017

Wife texts husband on a cold winters morning: "Windows frozen." Husband texts back: "pour some luke warm water over it." <br><br> Wife texts back: <br><br> <br><br> "computer completely fucked now."


1 Comentários, 23 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,5.35 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Trouble sleeping   27/10/2017

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. <br><br> "Well, I, uh, " she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." <br><br> "I see, " he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." <br><br> "That's not ...


1 Comentários, 38 Visualizações, 10 Votos ,3.58 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Jewish Divorce   26/10/2017

A jewish girl calls her mother : 'Mum, I'm getting a divorce'. 'A divorce? Why?' replied the shocked mother. 'Mum, all he wants his anal sex. I used to have a lovely little arsehole, the size of a 5p piece. Now its the size of a 50p piece'. The mother replies 'Sweetie, you have a lovely home, a Porsche, a platinum credit card and have 4 foreign holidays a year.... ...


0 Comentários, 21 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.81 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
50 Years!   18/10/2017

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years a go? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." Yes. she says. "I remember it well." OK, " he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" ...


0 Comentários, 24 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,4.64 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Vely Good   15/10/2017

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. <br><br> She yells, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" <br><br> One of the Japanese men explains, "Can't you see? We are all berry hungry." <br><br> The waitress ...


1 Comentários, 31 Visualizações, 9 Votos ,2.57 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
How My Husband Broke His Arms....   14/10/2017

Last year, when the power mower was broken and wouldn't run, I kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sank in. Finally I thought of a clever way to make the point. <br><br> When my husband arrived home that day, he found me seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. <br><br> He ...


0 Comentários, 21 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,1.84 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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The British Way   12/10/2017

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a British soldier selling regimental ties. The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?" The soldier replied, "There is no water, the well is dry. Would you like to buy a tie instead? They are only ...


0 Comentários, 18 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.92 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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The Atheist and the Bear   11/10/2017

An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself. <br><br> As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. <br><br> He ran as fast as he could up the path. He ...


0 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,4.12 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Fairy Tale   10/10/2017

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly, did not whine, nag or bitch......... But it was a long time ago..... …and it was just the ONE day. The End


0 Comentários, 10 Visualizações, 0 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Guy's Logic   10/10/2017

Lady: Do you drink? Man: Yes. <br><br> Lady: How much a day? Man: Three 6 packs. <br><br> Lady: How much per 6 pack? Man: About $10.00. <br><br> Lady: And how long have you been drinking? Man: 15 years. <br><br> Lady: So one 6 pack costs $10.00, and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10, 800 ...


0 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 0 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Fake two dollar bill   9/10/2017

On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday cash I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting upset with me. <br><br> ME: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer ...


0 Comentários, 18 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Harrods   8/10/2017

Harrods <br><br> *A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?' The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.' The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job. His first day was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the ...


0 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.73 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Random Jokes   8/10/2017

Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK! <br><br> <br><br> The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part. <br><br> I've accidentally ...


1 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
pack3rs 55 T
7 Artigos
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Sent Packing   7/10/2017

My wife accused me of being a transvestite. So I packed her things and left.


0 Comentários, 17 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,4.41 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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LAWS OF INEVITABILITY   5/10/2017

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. LAW OF THE WORKSHOP Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. LAW OF PROBABILITY The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. LAW OF THE TELEPHONE If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. LAW ...


0 Comentários, 11 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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The Wedding Night   3/10/2017

Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Ital ian she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was a very nervous. Her mother reassured her, "Don't worry, Maria, John’s a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you. Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta." So, uppa she went. When she got upstairs, John took off ...


0 Comentários, 18 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,2.94 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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TAKING A WOMAN TO BED   29/9/2017

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78 ? <br><br> . At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed. <br><br> At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed. <br><br> At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed. <br><br> ...


0 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,1.69 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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A Few Thoughts For You   29/9/2017

• Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. Norm Papernick • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? • Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'Broker'? • Why isn't there a mouse flavoured cat food? • Why do they call the airport ...


1 Comentários, 14 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,3.63 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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The Lonely Widow   29/9/2017

Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss ...


0 Comentários, 18 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,2.86 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Another Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman Joke   29/9/2017

There's an Englishman, Irishman & a Scotsman all talking about their teenage daughters. The Englishman says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day & I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smokes". The Scotsman says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a ...


0 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Bruce And Sheila   29/9/2017

Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off. Bruce slams on the brakes and yells "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think you're doing?" Sheila turns around with a tear in her eye and says, "G'day Bruce. Ya got me pregnant and so now I'm gonna kill myself." Bruce gets a lump in his throat ...


0 Comentários, 17 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,1.96 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN   29/9/2017

A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep . It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating". Sally raised her hand. She said, ...


0 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.73 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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20 Rules for Successful Writing   26/9/2017

For those of you who write blogs and articles for the site, here a a few simple rules for you. <br><br> 1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with 3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive 5. Avoid cliches like the plague 6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration 7. Be more or ...


0 Comentários, 9 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,2.42 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Strange Diseases   25/9/2017

A young couple left their wedding reception, arriving at the hotel for the first night of their honeymoon. They cracked the champagne and began undressing. When the groom removed his socks, his new wife said, "Your toes Look all mangled and funny." "I had tolio as a child, " the husband replied. "You mean polio?" she asked. "No, the disease only affected ...


0 Comentários, 11 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Gas Prices in Paris - Tres Bien!   21/9/2017

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. <br><br> After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. Only two blocks away, however, he was captured when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I ...


0 Comentários, 18 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,2.42 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Divorce Letter   20/9/2017

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, ...


1 Comentários, 29 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Little Johnny's Breakfast   20/9/2017

A grade three teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for breakfast. To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers. Susan puts up her hand and says she had an egg, 'E-G-G'. 'Very good', says the teacher. Peter says he had toast 'T-O-A-S-T'. 'Excellent.' Johnny has his hand up and ...


0 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,5.00 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Jack Schitt   19/9/2017

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says; "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of the Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. <br><br> In turn, Jack Schitt ...


0 Comentários, 10 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Weight Loss   18/9/2017

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. <br><br> The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch ...


0 Comentários, 6 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,5.00 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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YOU Can Be The Man Of Your House   14/9/2017

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and ...


0 Comentários, 12 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Accident At The Toll Booth   13/9/2017

The driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, and ploughed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces. Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. They picked up each broken piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. Then they began fitting the pieces together. In less than a half hour, ...


0 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Main Vice President   10/9/2017

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. <br><br> Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!". <br><br> "Really?" he said. Not sure if this was ...


1 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Painting the Church   8/9/2017

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey Macgregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. <br><br> As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Local Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings. <br><br> Smokey ...


0 Comentários, 14 Visualizações, 1 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Tales From The Shire   7/9/2017

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!" In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it ...


0 Comentários, 11 Visualizações, 0 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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EATING IN THE FIFTIES   7/9/2017

* Pasta had not been invented. * Curry was an unknown entity. * Olive oil was kept in the medicine cabinet * Spices came from the Middle East where we believed that they were used for embalming * Herbs were used to make rather dodgy medicine. * A Takeaway was a mathematical problem. * A Pizza was something to do with a leaning tower. * Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time. * The ...


1 Comentários, 19 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,0.34 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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New Windows   6/9/2017

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane energy-efficient kind. Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been installed a whole year ago and I had not paid for them yet. Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly ...


0 Comentários, 12 Visualizações, 0 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
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The Elderly Golfer   6/9/2017

An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house. <br><br> As he passes through the swinging doors, he spots a sign hanging over the bar that reads: <br><br> COLD BEER:£3.50 HAMBURGER: £4.50 CHEESEBURGER: £5.00 CHICKEN SANDWICH : £5.50 HAND JOB: £200.00 <br><br> Checking ...


0 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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The Salesman   3/9/2017

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. <br><br> "Good morning, " said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." <br><br> "Go away!" said the old lady. ...


0 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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HOW LONG HAVE I GOT LEFT?   1/9/2017

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that his patient would survive the night. The man then said "Call for my lawyer." <br><br> When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the ...


0 Comentários, 11 Visualizações, 0 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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THIS IS WHY PARENTS DRINK!!   30/8/2017

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' <br><br> With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter. <br><br> Dear Dad: It is with great regret and ...


0 Comentários, 9 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,5.00 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Tomatoes   27/8/2017

See if this works for yours (tomatoes that is) . . . <br><br> <br><br> A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbour who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so ...


0 Comentários, 8 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Survey   26/8/2017

In a recent blowjob survey 7% of the men said they like the feeling. 10% said they like the power and control. The rest just enjoyed the peace and quiet.


1 Comentários, 6 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,5.00 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Funny Thoughts for the Day   24/8/2017

• Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. Norm Papernick • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? • Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'Broker'? • Why isn't there a mouse flavoured cat food? • Why do they call the airport ...


0 Comentários, 8 Visualizações, 1 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The Irish v. The French!   23/8/2017

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. <br><br> 'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!' 'Well Paddy, Sarkozy replied. How big is your army?' ...


0 Comentários, 16 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.73 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
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A guy's guide to spotting Ms Wrong by the end of the first date   22/8/2017

When you're in the thick of a first date, judgement may not be on your side. Often you'll find yourself asking or agreeing to see her again, then waking up the next morning to a clear-as-day realisation that you don't want a second date at all. <br><br> Rather than try to squeeze out of it once it's too late, you should sharpen those powers of first-date perception. ...


0 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 1 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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EVEN MORE BLONDE QUESTIONS ANSWERED   18/8/2017

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain ? A: Gifted! Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? A: Because they ...


1 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.73 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Pumpkin   17/8/2017

This was apparently in the Washington Post .... The title of the article was Best Come Back Line Ever.' In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County Courthouse on Monday. The ...


0 Comentários, 7 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,5.20 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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SKIRT ZIPPER   15/8/2017

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to ...


0 Comentários, 7 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.81 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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DATING RITUALS of women   10/8/2017

CANADIAN WOMEN

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN ...


0 Comentários, 10 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.81 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
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Irish Radio Phone In Quiz   9/8/2017

Some belters from Larry Gogans radio show phone in quiz called the "just a minute quiz"

(Larry) Q. Something a blind man might use? (Contestant) A. A sword



(L.) Q. A song with the word moon in the title? C.) A. Blue suede moon



L.) Q. Name the capital of France? C.) A. "F"



L.) Q. Name a bird with a long neck? C.) A. Naomi Campbell ...


0 Comentários, 9 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,5.00 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
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Letter From The Boss   8/8/2017

Memorandum

TO: All employees FROM: The boss DATE:August 8th, 2017 RE: Foul Language



It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who are easily offended, this type of language will be ...


0 Comentários, 11 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
pack3rs 55 T
7 Artigos
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Earrings   6/8/2017

Earrings





Have you ever wondered why some men wear earrings?

A man was at work one day when he noticed his co-worker was wearing an earring. Knowing his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, he was curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The man walks up to his co-worker and said, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a ...


0 Comentários, 19 Visualizações, 6 Votos ,3.93 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Poor Elton   2/8/2017

Elton John goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Elton, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have HIV."

Elton is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"

Doc says "Eat one sausage, one head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, ten Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of All Bran cereal and top it ...


0 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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Pregnancy Question   2/8/2017

Catherine, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you..." "I know, I know, " the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy." "No, that's not it, " Catherine confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."


0 Comentários, 12 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,5.00 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
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Groans   1/8/2017

Doctor Evil cloned himself again. This time created a full size version of himself. He was charged with "Bigger Me."

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Dollywood is currently undergoing renovations....please PARTON our dust!

Don't put too many adaptors into one socket. They confuse.

Dr. Oleander Fern, the noted biologist, was stumped. He had spent months ...


0 Comentários, 9 Visualizações, 0 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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How To Poop At Work   1/8/2017

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the 2001 Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure. ESCAPEE. ...


0 Comentários, 9 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,3.92 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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My Wife Left Me   31/7/2017

My wife left me... And I don't understand.

After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses - I had to give up drinking beer.

I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack on weekends.

Anyway, I gave it up but I noticed the other day when she came home from grocery shopping, the receipt included $45 for makeup.

I said, "Wait ...


0 Comentários, 14 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,5.00 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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My US Air Force   31/7/2017

Even Zoomies get it right once in a while.

A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last flight. So a message is sent to the base ops and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it. The young man finally gets to the flight ...


0 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.81 Pontuação
pack3rs 55 T
7 Artigos
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Teacher Arrested   27/7/2017

Teacher Arrested



A public school teacher was arrested today at Heathrow International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Theresa May said she believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

she did not identify the man, ...


1 Comentários, 19 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,5.19 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
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The Wongs   26/7/2017

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

'Congratulations, ' says the nurse to the new parents. 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?' The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will ...


0 Comentários, 10 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
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Pontuação 0.0
Stuck In A Bog   26/7/2017

Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by.

"Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!" Don't worry, " assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there."

Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to ...


0 Comentários, 10 Visualizações, 0 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
DOLLY PARTON AND QUEEN ELIZABETH   25/7/2017

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in. The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says, "Look at these, they're the ...


0 Comentários, 9 Visualizações, 1 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The Lone Ranger's Last Request   25/7/2017

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaims,

"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ..

"In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days."

"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"

"What is your FIRST request ???'

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to ...


0 Comentários, 11 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
BEER TROUBLE SHOOTING GUIDE   25/7/2017

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backward. ACTION: Have yourself latched to bar. SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts. FAULT: You have fallen forward. ACTION: See above. SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth ...


0 Comentários, 7 Visualizações, 1 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The Wrong Suit   25/7/2017

An old lady was very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she started crying. One of the undertakers strode up to provide comfort in this sombre moment. Through her tears she explained that she was upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his dying ...


0 Comentários, 16 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Miracle Cure   20/7/2017

NEW - Miracle Cure!!!





• Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

• Do you suffer from shyness?

• Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?



If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident ...


1 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,0.49 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Great Advice   20/7/2017

By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have found inner peace.

The article read:

'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish off the things you have started'.

So I looked round the house to see all the things I had started and hadn't finished .... and before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, a ...


0 Comentários, 10 Visualizações, 1 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A tale of four cats   20/7/2017

Four Cats Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff.' T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen

and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a ...


0 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,3.25 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
pest Control   3/7/2017

An Irishwoman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. "Quick, " said the woman to the lover, "into the closet!" and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked. The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the ...


0 Comentários, 26 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,2.45 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Odd One Out   3/7/2017

Odd One Out

Which is the odd 1 out? 1. Toaster. 2. Washing machine. 3. Dish washer. 4. Woman.

Answer = A toaster.... Its the only 1 that doesnt drip when its fucked


0 Comentários, 11 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,1.47 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
2 Irish Nuns   3/7/2017

Two Irish nuns were sitting at traffic light in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside of them. "Hey, show us your tits, ye bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks. The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we are - show them your cross." So Sister Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Screw off ye little fookin wankers, before I ...


0 Comentários, 20 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.12 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Mother Of Six   29/6/2017

A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband's description. "Mother of six, " he would say, "Get me a beer!" "Hey mother of six, what's for dinner tonight?" This type of situation persisted to a ...


0 Comentários, 32 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,1.69 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A Biker Story   29/6/2017

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

I'm going to commit suicide, " she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give ...


0 Comentários, 26 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,1.96 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The Three Worst Chinese Tortures   29/6/2017

The Three Worst Chinese Tortures



Once upon a time a starving man named Harry Enis was walking in the middle of a Chinese forest when he stumbled upon a huge mansion. It was close to nightfall and he had no where to stay, no food, and nothing to make camp; so he walked up to the mansion and rang the doorbell. A very ancient man with a long beard brushing the floor answered the ...


0 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Dear Alcohol   9/6/2017

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that ...


2 Comentários, 20 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The power of Alcohol   9/6/2017

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the ...


0 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.12 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Moral Test   25/5/2017

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

THE SITUATION ...


0 Comentários, 26 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,2.45 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A Jewish Divorce   25/5/2017

A jewish girl calls her mother : 'Mum, I'm getting a divorce'. 'A divorce? Why?' replied the shocked mother. 'Mum, all he wants his anal sex. I used to have a lovely little arsehole, the size of a 5C piece. Now its the size of a 50C piece'. The mother replies 'Sweetie, you have a lovely home, a Porsche, a platinum credit card and have 4 foreign holidays a year.... and you want to give all that up ...


0 Comentários, 30 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,2.16 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
YOU Can Be The Man Of Your House   25/5/2017

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will ...


0 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 1 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Survey   22/5/2017

In a recent blowjob survey 7% of the men said they like the feeling. 10% said they like the power and control. The rest just enjoyed the peace and quiet.


0 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 5 Votos ,0.86 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
DATING RITUALS OF WOMEN   22/5/2017

CANADIAN WOMEN First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN First Date: ...


0 Comentários, 15 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
A Night At The Farmhouse   20/5/2017

The salesman stopped at a farmhouse one evening to ask for room and board for the night. The farmer told him there was no vacant room. "I could let you sleep with my daughter, " the farmer said, "if you promise not to bother her." The salesman agreed. After a hearty supper, he was led to the room. He undressed in the dark, slipped into bed, and felt the farmer's daughter at his side. ...


0 Comentários, 38 Visualizações, 1 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The Silent Treatment   20/5/2017

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00am for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00am" and left it where he knew she would find it. ...


0 Comentários, 21 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,1.04 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Barbie Girl   20/5/2017

A dad is on his way home a bit late from the office when he realises that it's his daughter's birthday and he has not bought her a gift. So he stops at a toy store to buy his daughter a Barbie. Inside he sees a Barbie display and asks the salesgirl how much the Barbies are.

The girl responds: "Which one? We have:

Gymnasium Barbie: $19.95 Volleyball Barbie: $19.95 Shopping ...


0 Comentários, 20 Visualizações, 1 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
3 Eggs And A Little Cash   19/5/2017

A women on her deathbed called her husband and instructed him to look under their bed and open the wooden box he found. He was puzzled by the 3 eggs and $7, 000 in cash he found in the box, so he asked his wife what the eggs were for. "Oh those", she replied, "every time we had bad sex, I put an egg in the box". Not bad, the husband thought to himself, after 35 years of marriage, then ...


0 Comentários, 13 Visualizações, 0 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Chess   19/5/2017

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing around in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. About an hour later the manager comes out of his office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked as they moved along. "Because, " said the manager, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."


0 Comentários, 8 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,1.10 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Brothel   18/5/2017

Two eight-year-old boys played in a vacant lot everyday, and across the street was a brothel. Day after day they saw men go up, knock on the door, go in, and eventually come out happy and smiling. One day they became curious and decided to see what was going on. The madam answers the door and looks down at the boys, and asks what they want. They explain what they saw, and tell her that they are ...


0 Comentários, 16 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
MORE BLONDE QUESTIONS ANSWERED   18/5/2017

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex? A: Opens the car door.

Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex? A: Kick open the car door.

Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs? A: More leg room.

Q: What do blondes say after sex? A: "Are you boys all in the same band?"

Q: Why is a blonde like a door ...


0 Comentários, 12 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,3.70 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Blondes and Oil Changes   18/5/2017

(1996, Texas) 45 year old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.


0 Comentários, 8 Visualizações, 0 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
2 Eggs   18/5/2017

Two eggs decide to get married. Along comes the big day and everything goes to plan. But they are both very nervous about the honeymoon night so the female egg decides to dress up in a skimpy little negligee to help them get excited. The husband comes along and sees his wife dressed like this and all off a sudden runs into the bathroom and locks the door. The wife is very shocked by his ...


0 Comentários, 10 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,2.42 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Date Site Descriptions   18/5/2017

You might find this amusing. Dating Site Descriptions What they Really MEAN: !!!!

Female: Adventurous = puts the book down during sex, . Athletic = breasts, 30 something = 41, Fun = Annoying, Wild = gets pissed easily, Beautiful eyes = face like a robbers dog, Seeks knight in shining armour = Ex is a fxxxing nutter., New age = hairy and smelly bits, A bit head strong = Argumentative , ...


0 Comentários, 9 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,2.45 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The Man's Perspective.   18/5/2017

The site from a mans perspective, is strange and bordering on sad, we get the various categories, which by not saying to much, you don't seem to fit into, mostly the categories include: 1) Look at me, 20 photos some with wind machine blowing that Farah Forsett hair around but there not affected. 2) Don't smoke but the fag in hand gives it away but that doesn't mater because the 2 cans of Stella ...


0 Comentários, 6 Visualizações, 0 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Husband And Wife   16/5/2017

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too late 49 times you were too tired 20 times it was too hot 15 times you pretended to be sleep 22 times you had a ...


0 Comentários, 14 Visualizações, 0 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
The Atheist And The Bear   16/5/2017

An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was ...


0 Comentários, 9 Visualizações, 0 Votos
bootlckboy39 50 H
14 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Man finds best fitness program till last   27/3/2017

Man finds out he needs to lose some weight quickly and sees ad on back of newspaper saying ultimate fitness program. He calls and asks for service.

Next day a fit blonde arrives and says "If you can catch me, you can have me".

He chases her, loses pounds and has her.

Next day he calls and asks for upgrade. Shortly, a petite redhead arrives and says "If you can catch me, ...


0 Comentários, 16 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,2.40 Pontuação
bootlckboy39 50 H
14 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Toys and boobs   23/3/2017

Two boys talking and one says to the other, "Why are boobs like toys?"

The other boy smiles and says "Because they are fun to play with but end up in your mouth".

Both smile. Thanks women for everything.


0 Comentários, 7 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,1.96 Pontuação
PussiKontrol 54 M
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
What did the duck say to the prostitute?   13/2/2017

Put it on my BILL!


5 Comentários, 38 Visualizações, 11 Votos ,3.92 Pontuação
PussiKontrol 54 M
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
What did the psychiatrist say to the naked crazy man wrapped in Saran Wrap?   13/2/2017

I can CLEARLY see your('re) NUTS!


1 Comentários, 18 Visualizações, 8 Votos ,2.78 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
One Wprd Or Two   13/1/2017

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman ...


1 Comentários, 30 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,4.41 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Making breakfast   13/1/2017

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful, " he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me ...


0 Comentários, 29 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,1.96 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Riddles with an X in front of the rated!   13/1/2017

Apologies if some are a little crass but some of them are gold! . . . . X-RATED RIDDLES Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. ============================================= Q. What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. ============================================= Q. What's the definition of macho? ...


1 Comentários, 31 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,4.02 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
When Jane met Tarzan   13/1/2017

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle...





When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex, " he replied. Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all ...


0 Comentários, 27 Visualizações, 2 Votos ,3.12 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Composure Or Aplomb   13/1/2017

The British have such a command of decorum and aplomb to which we can only aspire.

This message is for my friends who appreciate the finer points of the English language used correctly.

His Lordship was in the study when the butler approached and coughed discreetly.

"May I ask you a question, My Lord?"

"Go ahead, Carson , " said His Lordship.

"I am ...


0 Comentários, 17 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,1.10 Pontuação
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
What Happened Next?   13/1/2017

A man is talking to his best friend about married life.

"You know, " he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt."

His friend says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."

A couple of weeks later the man has to go out of town on business. Before he goes, he gets together with his friend.

"While I'm away, ...


0 Comentários, 22 Visualizações, 1 Votos ,5.00 Pontuação
tounginu59 64 H
1 Artigo
Pontuação 0.0
Simaltaneous orgasm   28/12/2016

A guy went to his dr and asked why it was he and his wife never have an orgasm together and if there is anything he can do to make it happen. The dr. told himthe next time you have sex to put his pistol under his pillow. When he was about to have his orgasm he was to pull it out and shoot it into the floor. He said it would scare her so much that she would have an orgasm. The said thanks doc, ...


0 Comentários, 18 Visualizações, 0 Votos
Zeus2512 71 H
166 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Baby's First Doctor Visit   3/11/2016

Baby's First Doctor Visit

I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. "Breast-fed, " she replied. "Well, strip down to your waist, " ...


0 Comentários, 79 Visualizações, 4 Votos ,3.25 Pontuação
Armstrong2 78 H
6 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Satisfaction   25/10/2016

The masochist says to the sadist "Hit me." The sadist hits , and they are both satisfied.

The masochist says to the sadist "I want you to hit me." The sadist says "I won't", and they are both satisfied.


1 Comentários, 21 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,2.45 Pontuação
Armstrong2 78 H
6 Artigos
Pontuação 0.0
Banking   24/10/2016

Q. Why is banking like sex? A. After you withdraw you lose interest.


0 Comentários, 9 Visualizações, 3 Votos ,2.94 Pontuação