Close Please enter your Username and Password
Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
Password reset link sent to
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service

Articles by swankarlos

swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Easy Quiz   2/20/2006

World's Easiest Quiz <br> Passing requires only 4 correct answers....a measly 40%. <br> <br> 1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? <br> 2) Which count


0 Comments, 66 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
100 people in the world   2/20/2006

If we reduce the population of the Earth to a small town with 100 people and keep the proportions, it will look like this: 57 Asians 21 Europeans 14 Americans (northern and southern) 8 Afri


0 Comments, 52 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
House trained?   2/13/2006

A girl takes her new boyfriend back home after the dance. She tells him to be very, very quiet as her parents are asleep upstairs and if they wake up, she would be in big trouble as she’s not all


0 Comments, 343 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Roadkill   2/13/2006

A young brickie starts work on a farm, and the boss sends him out to the local supplier for more cement. As dusk falls, though, he's still not returned – so the boss calls him on the CB radio.


0 Comments, 189 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
First massage   2/13/2006

Plucking up the courage, a young man goes to a massage parlour for the first time. As he's not sure when to ask for the dirty deed, he lies on the leather bed, frustratedly getting more and more ar


0 Comments, 175 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Big bug   2/13/2006

While out shopping one day, a woman spots her husband cheating with another woman in a restaurant. Waiting until he returns home, the wife pretends everything is normal – cooking his dinner, iron


0 Comments, 168 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Big IS better   2/13/2006

An old woman goes into a sex shop and asks the assistant if she can have a look at an assortment of vibrators. Despite a wide range of colours, shapes and sizes, none of them appeal to the old lady


0 Comments, 391 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Little Freddie   2/13/2006

Little 10-year-old Freddie goes for a long weekend with his uncle, a wealthy Hampshire farm owner. One evening, as Uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with cocktails, they are interrupt


0 Comments, 363 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Me Drunk?   2/13/2006

A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, Have you been drinking, sir? Why? snorts the man. Is there a fat ugly bird in


0 Comments, 135 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
South african justice   2/13/2006

Three men in a prison in South Africa; two white, one black. The first white guy says, ‘I’m in for six years for robbery. The judge said I was lucky. If it had been armed robbery, I would have


0 Comments, 230 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Examination   2/13/2006

One day a man has a terrible stomach complaint and goes along to his doctor to see what can be done about it. The doctor tells him that he is very ill, but that he can cure his condition with a cou


0 Comments, 152 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Sexy lisp   2/13/2006

Thor, the Viking God of Thunder, and Odin, King Of The Gods are enjoying a flagon of mead in Valhalla, the Norse heaven. Suddenly, Thor turns to Odin. “You know, my Lord” he says, thoughtfully


0 Comments, 125 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Texas style   2/13/2006

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers, and when the cowboy finished his drink, he found his had been stolen. He


0 Comments, 135 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Good advice   2/13/2006

Sat on a park bench, a small boy is munching one chocolate bar after another. After seeing him starting on his sixth, a man on the bench across from him shakes his head. ‘, ’ tuts the gentleman


0 Comments, 141 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Wayne!!!   2/13/2006

An Essex girl goes to the local social benefits office to claim her family allowance, and tells the officers that she has ten . ‘Wow!’ says the clerk. ‘What are their names?’ ‘Wayne, Wayn


0 Comments, 114 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Ass fruit   2/13/2006

Two men shipwrecked on an island are captured by cannibals. The chief informs them the only way to avoid becoming dinner is to undergo the ‘Ordeal of Fruit’. The men accept at once, and the chi


0 Comments, 140 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Dumb    2/13/2006

Roy Rogers is riding through the Wild West on his trusty , Trigger, when he happens upon Apache Indians. Not best pleased at having trespassers in their territory, the Indians capture Roy and bury


0 Comments, 103 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Tigers balls   2/13/2006

Prior to competing in the 2001 Open Championships, Tiger Woods is touring the links courses in Ireland and pulls into a petrol station in his huge Mercedes. ‘Howdy, ’ he says to the attendant.


0 Comments, 171 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
On Site   2/13/2006

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, ‘You're in charge of sweeping.’ He then tu


0 Comments, 92 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Good Maid   2/13/2006

A rich man is away on a business trip and phones home. The maid answers and he asks if he can speak to his wife. ‘She’s upstairs having sex with her lover, ’ the undiplomatic home-help replie


0 Comments, 104 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Hermaphridite   8/11/2005

A San Francisco woman gives birth to a baby, and shortly afterwards the doctor comes in and says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." <br> The woman sits up in bed and says


0 Comments, 180 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Did you know   8/4/2005

Did you know: <br> The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma. <br> No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times. <br> &l


0 Comments, 99 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Ya gotta smile   8/1/2005

Three smiling corpses are lying in a morgue in Alabama, and a detective goes into the coroner's to find out the cause of death. The coroner points to the first dead man. ‘This is Cletus, ’ he s


0 Comments, 139 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Treatment   8/1/2005

A man walks into a pub and orders a drink. He necks it, takes out his cock, and pisses all over the bar. The landlord is furious and tells the man to get out. He apologises profusely, saying he doe


0 Comments, 168 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Bells   8/1/2005

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away Jennie went straight round to visit her grandmother. When she asked how her grandpa had died, her gran explained ‘He had a heart attac


0 Comments, 91 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Free ride   8/1/2005

This nun’s standing at a bus stop when a double-decker pulls up. As she gets on, the nun notices she’s the only passenger on the bus, so she turns to the driver and asks, ‘Could you do me a v


0 Comments, 114 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
tough and stupid   8/1/2005

Three men reach the final round of tests to join the SAS, and are called together to speak with the interviewer. ‘Do you love your wife?’ says the officer. ‘Sir, yes I do, sir, ’ say the re


0 Comments, 69 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Great ears   8/1/2005

For quite some time, there’s a man living next door to a beautiful young girl. He curses his lack of confidence, as he’s never said more than hello to the fantastic creature. Then one day, as h


0 Comments, 103 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Really Drunk?   8/1/2005

Three guys are comparing their drunkenness from the night before. The first guy says, ‘I was so drunk I don’t even know how I got home … I just woke up in my bed in a pool of sweat.’ ‘Oh


0 Comments, 88 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Scouser   8/1/2005

At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge Scouse bloke – 6 feet 5 inches tall and 350 lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well-dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him.


0 Comments, 79 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Forces   8/1/2005

In a bid to encourage teamwork, representatives of the Navy, Army and Metropolitan Police are invited to a cross-forces outward-bound competition. With the scores even at the end of the weekend, th


0 Comments, 52 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Drunk again   8/1/2005

While walking his beat, a policeman is bemused to find a young man, clearly drunk, staggering about with a key in his hand. ‘They’ve stolen my car, ’ the drunk shouts. ‘It was right here ea


0 Comments, 136 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
No misunderstanding   8/1/2005

A young Australian is enjoying his first night in Rome. He’s drinking cappuccino at a pavement cafe when a pretty girl sat herself beside him. ‘Hello, ’ he says, ‘do you understand English?


0 Comments, 53 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Frog   8/1/2005

One day a 12-year-old boy walks into a brothel, dragging a dead frog behind him and says, ‘Hello, I’d like a girl for the night.’ The madam says, ‘I’m afraid you’re too young for one of


0 Comments, 150 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Eskimo love   8/1/2005

An Eskimo is out for a drive one day when his car breaks down and he is forced to call out the Alaskan AA. The Eskimo stands in the howling wind and waits for the mechanic to arrive. When the mecha


0 Comments, 55 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Beetlemania   8/1/2005

A man is sitting at home watching TV late one night when theres a knock at the front door. The man angrily answers the door to find a 6-ft stag beetle standing on the step. After he asks the beetl


0 Comments, 50 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Blonde   8/1/2005

A blonde walks in to her local clinic and asks to see the doctor. When she’s admitted, the doctor is a little perturbed to see she’s wearing headphones and asks her to remove them. ‘I’m afr


0 Comments, 91 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Johnny   8/1/2005

Little Johnny’s mother is taking a bath, having recently been discharged from hospital where she had all of her pubic hair removed. Johnny comes into the bathroom as she’s drying off, and asks


0 Comments, 157 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Party suit   8/1/2005

A guy decides to have a party where his guests are asked to come as emotions e.g. fear etc. On the night of the party, the first guest arrives and the host opens the door to see a guy covered


0 Comments, 89 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Eating pussy   3/21/2005

George’s girlfriend decided she wanted to please her man, so one day she went out and bought a pair of crotchless panties. That night she lay on the bed and waited for George to come home. When h


0 Comments, 217 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Tool time   3/21/2005

Having heard from the jury, the judge asked the accused serial killer to stand. ‘You have been found guilty of murdering your postman with a chainsaw, ’ he said, sternly. ‘You lying bastard!


0 Comments, 135 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
New husband   3/21/2005

After 50 years of happy marriage to Lena, Ole becomes very ill and realizes that he will soon die. In bed one night, Ole turns to his wife. ‘Lena, ’ he asks. ‘When I am gone, do you think you


0 Comments, 133 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Before it starts   3/21/2005

Returning from an exhausting day at work, a man plops down on the couch in front of the TV. ‘Hey, darling, ’ he shouts to his wife, ‘Get me a beer before it starts.’ His wife sighs and fetc


0 Comments, 108 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Doc knows best   3/21/2005

After suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief, Trevor is referred to a headache specialist by his family GP. ‘The trouble is, ’ Trevor tells the specialist, ‘I get this blind


0 Comments, 115 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Old firemen   3/21/2005

During a particularly dry summer, a chemical plant bursts into flames, and the alarm goes out to all available fire departments. Twenty engines duly arrive, and spend the next three hours battling


0 Comments, 111 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Rubbers!   3/21/2005

A tourist walks into a drug store in Los Angeles, and asks for a packet of condoms. ‘Rubbers, eh?’ says the chemist, recognizing his customer is English. ‘That’ll be five dollars – includ


0 Comments, 112 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Klan?   3/21/2005

As the congregation settled into the pews, the preacher rose to the lectern with a red face. ‘Someone in this congregation, ’ he began gravely, ‘has spread a rumour that I belong to the Ku Kl


0 Comments, 120 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Trains   3/21/2005

Jimmy was applying for a job as a switch operator on the railroad. The chief engineer was conducting the interview. ‘What would you do, ’ asked the engineer slowly, ‘If the Northern Express w


0 Comments, 84 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Viagra useful   3/21/2005

A elderly gentleman shuffles into a drug store and asks for Viagra. ‘That's no problem, ’ says the pharmacist. ‘How many do you want?’ ‘Just a few, maybe four, ’ says the pensioner. ‘


0 Comments, 124 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
The bells!   3/21/2005

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away Jennie went straight round to visit her grandmother. When she asked how her grandpa had died, her gran explained ‘He had a heart attac


0 Comments, 89 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
short sighted   3/21/2005

A traffic policeman pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the lady driver. ‘Ma'am, why were you weaving all over the road?’ he asks. ‘Oh, officer!’ the woman replies. ‘Tha


0 Comments, 66 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Inmates   3/21/2005

Three new inmates are sitting in their cell, contemplating their futures. The first one takes out a mouth organ. ‘At least I can keep myself amused by playing a little music. It’ll help to pass


0 Comments, 90 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Warts   3/21/2005

A man walks into a bar with a big green bullfrog on his head. ‘Where did you get that?’ the barman asks. ‘Would you believe, ’ the bullfrog replies, ‘it started out as a tiny little wart


0 Comments, 61 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Gremlins   3/21/2005

A man is sitting in the pub having a quiet pint when a gremlin comes in and asks for a half. He downs his drink quickly, then runs along the bar, sticks his head in the man’s pint and shakes it a


0 Comments, 67 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
elevator magic   3/21/2005

A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. T


0 Comments, 72 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Drinks on me   3/21/2005

This guy staggers into a bar and shouts, "A double whisky please barman, and a drink for everyone here... and while you're at it, have one yourself." "Well thank you sir, " says the barman and proc


0 Comments, 140 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
12 year old   3/21/2005

A man walks into a bar and orders a 12-year-old scotch. The bartender, believing that the customer will not be able to tell the difference, pours him a shot of the cheap 3-year-old house scotch tha


0 Comments, 90 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Good samaritan   3/21/2005

A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home."


0 Comments, 47 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
my wife   3/21/2005

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apolog


0 Comments, 65 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
fast drinker   3/21/2005

A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?" The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartend


0 Comments, 48 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
dancing duck   3/21/2005

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed th


0 Comments, 52 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
blind pilots   3/21/2005

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear


0 Comments, 65 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Tell me everything   3/21/2005

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What


0 Comments, 64 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
red ring green ring   3/21/2005

Two men are sitting in the doctor's office. One looks at the other and says, "What are you here for?" The man replies "I have a red ring around my pecker, What are you here for?" The other man sa


0 Comments, 43 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Nuns   3/21/2005

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and


0 Comments, 53 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Smartass!   3/21/2005

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation


0 Comments, 54 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Handjob   3/21/2005

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: Cheese Sandwich: $3.50 Chicken Sandwich: $4.50 Hand Job: $10.00 After checking his wallet, he walks up to the bar and


0 Comments, 106 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Punish?   3/21/2005

One day mom was cleaning juniors room and in the closet she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He


0 Comments, 82 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
steroids   2/6/2005

The ambitious coach of an all-girls athletics team decides to start using steroids in an attempt to improve his girls’ dismal performance. After a few weeks, the team begins to whip all the other


0 Comments, 71 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Potential   2/6/2005

A comes home from school and asks his dad, ‘What’s the difference between potential and reality?’ His dad says, ‘I’ll show you. Ask your mum if she’d sleep with Robert Redford for a mi


0 Comments, 35 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Surrounded   2/6/2005

A patrol of Iraqi soldiers are driving through the desert when the commander hears a voice from behind a sand dune shout, ‘One British Special Forces soldier is worth a thousand Iraqi soldiers!


0 Comments, 97 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Big Bad Wolf   2/6/2005

Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the woods one day, when she spies the wolf crouched down behind a bush. Thinking that it would be a laugh and make a bit of a change to sneak up on him for


0 Comments, 43 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
surf love   2/6/2005

Declan the humble crab and Katie the lobster princess were madly and passionately in love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship, until one day Katie scuttled over to Declan in tears. ‘


0 Comments, 19 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
No Baker   2/6/2005

A wife, frustrated by her husband’s bone-idleness around the house, especially in the DIY department, sees cause for concern one day when the toilet clogs up. She decides to ask him if he’d min


0 Comments, 204 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Mistaken identity   2/6/2005

Two Irishmen are walking through Calcutta when an old woman wanders past. ‘Hey, Seamus, ’ one says. ‘I think that’s Mother Teresa.’ ‘Rubbish, ’ says the other. ‘I’m telling you it


0 Comments, 33 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Touchy exchange   2/6/2005

A Japanese man walks into a currency exchange in Trafalgar Square and hands 10, 000 yen over the counter. The woman smiles and hands him back £70. The following week, he again walks in and puts do


0 Comments, 19 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Memory   2/6/2005

A young man walks out of a newsagent’s and spies an old man on a park bench crying his eyes out. So the youth goes over to the howling pensioner to see if he’s all right. ‘Are you okay?’ he


0 Comments, 33 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Welsh surgery   1/2/2005

A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only heart available is that of a sheep. The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the sheep heart into the man. A few days a


0 Comments, 73 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Lunch hope its not chicken   1/2/2005

little boy and girl at school were having lunch in the shelter shed. "Tommy, " she said, "I'm not eating any more chicken sandwiches." "Why?" he asked. "'Cause I'm starting to grow feathers d


0 Comments, 116 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
a delicacy   1/2/2005

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!" The cowboy, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm


0 Comments, 75 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
pickled   1/2/2005

There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked. <br> The cucumber "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and


0 Comments, 94 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Sue who   1/2/2005

David finally found the nerve to tell his fiancee that he had to break off their engagement so he could marry another woman. "Can she cook like I can?" the distraught woman asked between sobs. "Not


0 Comments, 107 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
20 reasons chocolate is better than sex   1/2/2005

. You can GET chocolate. 2. "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. 3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft. 4. You can safely have chocolate while you are d


0 Comments, 89 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
What makes a lover   1/2/2005

John and Jill were about to go into his apartment, and before he could open his door, Jill said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door." John says, "Well, give


0 Comments, 125 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
little solution   1/2/2005

There was a young man who was so well-endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three doctors and one nurse were in the operating room to remedy the situation. The first doctor said, "We'll just ta


0 Comments, 160 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Loving camels   1/2/2005

A captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his first day there he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied up at the back of the barracks. He asked hi sergeant what


0 Comments, 115 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Babtised drunk   1/2/2005

A drunk is stumbling through the woods when he happens upon a preacher baptising folk in the river. He ambles down to the water's edge then trips and falls down before the holy man. Almost overcome


0 Comments, 53 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Fathers!   1/2/2005

Nervously pacing up and down a hospital corridor, a man waits as his wife gives birth to their first . After a long labour the doctor comes out and tells the man that he is the father of a baby boy


0 Comments, 80 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Little Johnny   1/2/2005

Little Johnny's mother is taking a bath, having recently been discharged from hospital where she had all of her pubic hair removed. Johnny comes into the bathroom as she's drying off, and asks her


0 Comments, 114 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Pervert   1/2/2005

Two ducks check into a hotel for a dirty weekend. They get up to their room, only to discover they've no condoms. "No problem, " quacks the male, "I'll just call down to room service and get them t


0 Comments, 159 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Sperm   12/19/2004

1. Semen contains less than 10% sperm. The rest is made up of enzymes, vitamin C, calcium, protein, sodium, zinc, citric acid and fructose which fuels its journey. <br> 2.If a woman has


0 Comments, 113 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Bull   12/19/2004

A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turn


0 Comments, 95 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Remember When   12/19/2004

A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isn’t in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He ap


0 Comments, 62 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Seal diving   12/19/2004

An Eskimo is out for a drive one day when his car breaks down and he is forced to call out the Alaskan AA. The Eskimo stands in the howling wind and waits for the mechanic to arrive. When the mecha


0 Comments, 126 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Useful Frog   12/19/2004

A man surveys the women in a nightclub, picks out the most attractive, and takes a seat next to her at the bar. He uses all his best lines, but gets nowhere. Finally, he reaches into his pocket, ta


0 Comments, 126 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Thirteen   12/19/2004

A man is strolling past a lunatic asylum when he hears a loud chanting. "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!" goes the noise form within the mental hospital's wards. The man's curiosity gets the better o


0 Comments, 185 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Dont get lost   12/19/2004

A young journalist gets a job at a provincial newspaper in the middle of the prairies. His first assignment was to write a human-interest story. Driving through the cornfields, he spied an old farm


0 Comments, 94 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
A winner   12/19/2004

After a woman meets a man in a bar, they talk and end up leaving together. They get back to his flat, and as he's showing her around, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with teddy be


0 Comments, 135 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Be careful where you stick it!   12/19/2004

After years of milking cows with the traditional stool-and-squirt method, Farmer Giles finds he has enough money to order a high-tech milking machine. The equipment arrives a few days later and, re


0 Comments, 164 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Medicine hard to swallow   12/17/2004

Following a nasty car accident, a man's wife slips into a coma. After spending weeks at her bedside, the husband is summoned to the hospital. "It's amazing" says the Doctor, breathlessly. "While ba


0 Comments, 148 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
good shootin   12/17/2004

A man goes into a gun shop for a telescopic rifle sight. The assistant takes one out, points out the window and says: "This baby is so good, you can see right into my house on that hill way over th


0 Comments, 63 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Not too smart   12/17/2004

In search of adventure, an attractive young lady decided to head for the Far East, and stowed herself away on the first ship available. After a month, she was discovered by the captain, who was sur


0 Comments, 97 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Breaking it gently   12/17/2004

An extremely wealthy 80-year-old arrived for his annual check-up and smiled when the doctor enquired about his health. "Never better, " he announced proudly. "I've taken an 18-year-old bride, and s


0 Comments, 123 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Small change   12/17/2004

One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spots an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolls to a stop at the kerb, a figure leaps into the cab and slams the


0 Comments, 106 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Good choice   12/17/2004

There's an old couple sitting watching TV, when the woman decides she's got to do something to spice up their lacklustre sex life. With a mischievous glint in her eye, she goes upstairs and searche


0 Comments, 91 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Technique   12/17/2004

After marrying a younger woman, A middle-aged man finds that no matter what he does in the sack, she never achieves orgasm. So he visits his doctor for advice. ¨Maybe fantasy is the solution, ¨sa


0 Comments, 94 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
A bargain   11/30/2004

Q. Why do women prefer a circumcised cock? <br> A. They just can't resist anything with ten per cent off.


0 Comments, 49 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Baby trouble   11/30/2004

A doctor's home telephone rings at three o'clock in the morning. Sleepily, he picks up:¨Hello?¨ ¨Doctor, it's Mrs Johnson, ¨screams a frantic woman, ¨our baby has just swallowed a condom!¨ Th


0 Comments, 84 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Drunk   11/3/2004

A drunk was staggering down a street. Somehow, he managed to make it up the stairs and into the cathedral, where he crashed from pew to pew. He finally made his way to a side aisle and into a confe


0 Comments, 31 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Bush   11/3/2004

A man gets into a taxi in Washington and as they, re driving along the driver asks¨Say, buddy, you heard the latest George Bush joke?¨ The passenger leans forward and says: ¨I am George Bush.¨


0 Comments, 45 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
At the Pearly Gates   11/3/2004

It was time for St Peter´s annual three week vacation, and Jesus volounteered to fill in for him at the Pearly Gates. Ït´s easy, ¨St Peter explained. ¨Sit at the registration desk, and ask ea


0 Comments, 54 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
old punter   11/3/2004

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the old man and asks how old he is. Im 90 years old, he replies. 90!r


0 Comments, 41 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Lonely Trucker   10/26/2004

A trucker stops at a brothel. He walks up to the Madam, drops $1.000 and says "I want your ugliest woman and a stale baloney sandwich!" The madam is astonished. "But Sir, for that kind of money you


0 Comments, 42 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Blow job   10/26/2004

A man wakes up in the night feeling horny, so he gives his wife a nudge an asks for a blow job. She looks at the clock and says "I'm too tired-wank in a glass and I'll drink it in the morning!"


0 Comments, 51 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
stiffy   10/22/2004

What do you call a snake on Viagra? <br> A walking stick!


0 Comments, 20 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Never too late   10/22/2004

A lonely spinster, aged 81, decided that it was time to get married, so she put an ad in the local paper that read:"Husband wanted, must be in my age group(80s), must not run around on me, must not


0 Comments, 53 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
Youth   10/22/2004

Memories of mammories Bouncing in thier blouses Arouses something dormant Thats been sleeping in my trousers.


0 Comments, 100 Views, 0 Votes
swankarlos 56 M
118 Articles
Score 0.0
adorable   10/22/2004

An adorable little girl, all blonde curls and blue eyes walks into a petshop and asks in the sweetest little lisp:"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" The shopkeeper´s heart melts an


0 Comments, 62 Views, 0 Votes